| I've got to stop trying to make connections with friends who I think I am close to 'cause lemme tell ya, the feeling is generally not reciprocated. Maybe some people just get tired of me. But I understand that. I get tired of people also. I'll just let them live their lives and I'll live mine...peacefully...on Xanga at 2:17am.
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| Realized that crying doesn't make you less strong. It just makes you emotional...and that's not such a bad thing.
I'm upset today for many reasons. Some I will talk about and some I won't.
I dropped my math class instead of taking a grade of F.
I found a roach of significant size crawling around on my hardwood floors. I've never picked up a flip-flop so fast in my life, "OH HELLLLLL NO" *slap*. That's how it went down. I have lived here without disgusting bugs like that ever since I moved in. I WILL NOT have them in my home. I hate roaches so much.
There is this really dirty feral cat that has been hanging around my place. At first I really couldn't stand him because he was always staring at me for long periods of time and then would run. But when I come home from work, he's always there curled up in the sun and sleeping in this clay pot that only has dirt in it. It sorta cute. His eyes are striking also. I won't feed him, but I think I'll stop scaring him away.
I'm tired. This helped calm me down a little bit. Nite.
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| I just need to jump in and sacrifice and make mistakes. I'm tired of playing it safe with everything in my life. It always comes back to bite me in the ass. Always. It just did right now and I'm really upset with myself for letting this opportunity slip by. It was a small opportunity but still. I am just upset with myself.
I'm going to jump into this photography thing next semester. I have to or I will lose my mind.
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| Mmm...it's been a while.
I should be sleeping but it is almost midnight but my brain is between state of not too tired and not too awake. I can't decide, really.
Nothing much is new. I am still trying to pass my last and final math class before I can get out of city college and move on to do something that I really want to study.
I am working on getting myself into therapy. I've needed to for a long time and I'm at a point where I just need to sort my thoughts and feelings out about so many things in my life. I know it's going to be hard but I also know I need it.
Oh and if you don't go to the dentist for 8 years you end up with 14 cavities. Yep. That's right. These pearly semi-whites are infested with cavities. I paid $330 for just 3 to be filled. Going back on Friday the 13th for a few more to be filled.
Hope all is well with everyone else.
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| Birthday tomorrow. 09-09-09. I'll be 24. I don't feel like it's going to be my birthday at all. They are no longer exciting. I'll live.
Eating breakfast with my twin sis and then I am slaving over a math book for hours on end (until 6pm) and then I am going to dinner with friends. It will be pleasant =]
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